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‘ANDREW!” Mum screamed. I ran faster. Behind me I could hear Tabatha’s voice.“Mum! I felt it. It was real. It was his.”I slammed my bedroom door. I couldn’t make sense of what just happened.A few minutes later, Tabatha knocked on my bedroom door. I didn’t say anything, but she came in anyway. “Mum said I have to apologise.”It didn’t sound like it was going to be very heart felt. I didn’t even bother to look up. “I’m sorry for grabbing your penis. It looked like Mum’s dildo and I didn’t think it could possibly be yours because I saw that little grey thing in the pool and . . . well, I’m sorry.” “Did you tell Mum that you saw my penis in the pool after you pulled my shorts off?”“Well, no, not really.”“Well, you should! Mum obviously thinks I’m a pervert who goes around pulling down girls’ pants and stealing dildos. And Barbara gives me a filthy look every time I see her.”“Oh, the golden boy’s image is tarnished. Boo hoo! Welcome to my world, little brother. People give. Your blind date will be over within the hour and though you have some trepidation, there is also excitement, but at the very least you will look your best.Being in your mid thirties and recently divorced after a decade long marriage, this is your first date in years. It feels strange getting back into the game after such a long time, and though wiser and more mature, you find yourself still fretting about the same silly things you did back in high school. Lightly brushing on a little Ben Nye foundation you try to make your nose look smaller, even though no one has ever noticed what you think is a glaring defect.After finishing your face you drop the towel you're wearing and give your naked self a good look over in the mirror. The low-carb ketogenic diet and the devotion to the gym has paid off, allowing you to keep most of your youthful figure. It does gall you a bit, however, that your most prominent feature has been paid for by your idiot ex-husband. In college you rocked almost a.
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